Written On March 09th, 2010

Ok everybody,      It has been a while but a lot has gone on since we last spoke and the question on my mind is, "are we seeing the decline of the United States as a world power?"     You might ask?  'What does a professional counselor know about the subject?'  Fair question but I would have you know I've spent a majority of my life studying human nature on an individual  and societal basis.  Like individuals nations are born, they live, grow old and eventually die.  Without exception the great nations of this world have come and gone one by one.  Trust me on this one, 'we are no exception to the rule and there appear to be some tell tale signs of our decline as a world power.       Our constant state of wars we can ill afford.  Sky rocketing national debt to countries we can barely count as our allies.  Our obvious leadership vacum.  Lets face it the last two presidents we've elected are little more than token figure heads.   Like the Eygiptians with their child Pharos, the Romans with their underqualified tyrants and the nepotistic dynasties of middle ages Europe, we have repeated these patterns in a little over 200 years.    Ok gotta go now but more on the subject later.Raja out!        

Written On December 31st, 1969

Wrapping up the traditional work week is always a wonderful event.  You are cleaning out assignments which have nagged you all week.  You are beginning to put off what can be put off until Monday.  In other words, you are preparing for a rest.In our Spiritual Life it's important we took Thursdays and Fridays as well.  We need to begin to wind down the super push we've placed on new challenges.  We need to begin to plan how we will tackle things once we gear up again.  We need to accept where we are, marvel at God for leading us to this place and make a few plans for moving along when we decide to commence the life again.Affirmation:I deserve time to rest and regroup.  My spirit shines with accomplishment.  I have not accomplished all I well but I have accomplished enough for now.  I will know when to move forward again.Prayer:Creator,We come to you as little children, tired from play and work of the day.  Hold us close to you in your arms and bless all we have strived to accomplish.  It is alone by your glory we have met our goals and we will meet the ones again.  Let us hear your voice say, Come my good and faithful servant and rest a brief time.Amen

Written On December 31st, 1969

http://rcmnly.typepad.com/whatawhata/2009/07/the-challenges-always-come.html">http://rcmnly.typepad.com/whatawhata/2009/07/the-challenges-always-come.html

Written On July 15th, 2009

The Q Word?  Queer Finds Its Place as Advocacy LabelBy Reece W. Manley, DD, M.Ed., MPMScout Production finally did it.  And, they did it well.  Turning “queer” from a hush-hush P.C.  non-use word to a statement of an empowered social culture group.  The LGBT cultural minority grabbed up the old label and held it proudly.David Collins and Michael Williams and their straight producing partner David Metzler launched Queer Eye for the Straight Guy in 2003 with breath held to see the reactions of not only the viewing public, but the ever empowered LGBT community as well.  “Nervous.  Very nervous,” David Metzler says, “That was my initial reaction to using the word Queer.  Of course, [Scout Productions] and Collins had done their research showing the word was turning in its acceptable use between banned to embraced.  But, in 2003, it was still a shock value component.”Embraced was a soft description of the reaction to the work.  “I was ecstatic to see the word used,” says Lina C., a real estate mogul in Atlanta, echoing the reactions of millions of gay and lesbian viewers along with their straight counterparts.  “Instead of hiding behind an alphabet soup of initials, I could once again be ‘that queer black lady from south Altanta!”Acceptance of the label of Queer for the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered cultural minority be its own members ranks high.  Eighty-one percent of LGBT persons under 40 years of age, rated the word “Queer” as “perfectly acceptable for us by both LGBT and non-LGBT persons in a survey by Texas Research and Investment.As the social minority continues to gain ground toward equal rights, the word queer is increasingly being used.   “Perhaps this gives us what we need-unity,” says David Cross, Human Rights Campaign.  “Instead of bickering about which letter goes where in LGBT, we are just queer.  We’re here, we’re queer!  We have no fear!”Queer is back.  Queer as folks we be.All Rights Reserved ©2009 Texas Research and Investment

Written On December 31st, 1969

  Coping with anger & rage…while I don’t see myself as an angry person, I have to admit that I like to have the sun shine on my more agreeable aspects. I don’t know many people who brag about how much they love their shadow. For a while, I thought that anger was ugly somehow. Having conflict wasn’t an alternative in my eyes. Things could always be worked out, no? well, I was a bit younger then. Now? I get angry, but I’m still reluctant to put it out there. The social contract must be really important to me. We’re all in this together, so disagreements just shouldn’t happen. When I boil it down, it’s easy to see the mistake I was making. This is just another reason why I don’t mind getting older. The experiences add up & I can see patterns and trends that blindsided me before…     …anyway, a friend of mine defined anger as the body’s way of reacting to injustice. I’m not too sure if I agree with that definition 100%, but it’s the one I’m going to use for now. Anger and rage aren’t the same thing though…in my eyes. Rage seems a bit more uncontrolled. Anger can be justified a bit more. There’s righteous anger. It’s been attributed to god, so it must be ok, no? I’m not too sure about monotheism or  personifying deities, but this isn’t the time or place for that. Anger…that’s the topic at hand. See how I use the distraction to avoid handling even the topic of anger? Well, that’s part of my attitude towards it. It’s not easy for me to admit to being angry over something. Freaking out, losing control, & yelling @ someone just aren’t something that I do. Where all that comes from is a whole other bag. The interesting point to me is that just writing about anger makes me avoid the topic. I guess it’s taboo, a real charged subject. I’m having difficulty writing & picking out words. The thing that I have learned is to just keep moving. There’s the old Churchill quote: “if you’re going through hell, keep going.” So that’s what I’ll do. I didn’t grow up around that type of behavior, first off. As I said before, my biodad had died a few months after I was born. We moved away from Boston when I was 3. There wasn’t a guy around the house until my mum remarried when I was 10. My step-dad is a good guy. It just took me a long time to realize that. I have heard stories about other peoples’ dads & the anger & rage that they showed. While I can understand the idea of it, I don’t know what it’s like. I know that I don’t like being around people who get loud & belligerent when they’re upset. It’s not easy to handle that type of behavior for me. I had to face that when I was working @ the finch though. This one loud mouthed kid had figured out that most people won’t deal w/ that type of shouting. He would get wound up from time to time & just scream & yell, relying on others to defer to his ploy. While I gave dude a wide berth, I had to confront both him and myself. He ended up running off b/c it was what he wanted to do. While I’ll face an angry person, I really don’t want a fight. I read a guide to fighting recently that seemed on track. People never expect the headbut, but it leaves you really exposed if it misses. Adrenalin will anesthetize the pain for awhile, don’t be afraid of getting hurt. I could go on, but won’t.     my point is that even though I may avoid anger and/or rage, others don’t. I have accepted that reality just by soaking in our american culture. Daily reports of murders, rapes, gun attacks, and stabbings abound. There’s no shortage of chaos in this world. Anger & rage are just part of the recipe…     how do I want my kids to handle these emotions? My daughter is 2 now & she’s able to talk her way through a tantrum. She works herself up when she’s frustrated, but asking about what’s upsetting her gives her the chance to use words instead of screaming. It’s easier that way, for both of us. I like the day care where she is right now. They’re really into socializing the kids & having them work together. She’s been there since she was around 2 months. Sonny Jim just started there. He’ll be 3 months on Monday the 6th. I think that part of my frustration with his colic is the same discomfort with anger & rage. He just screams and screams so loud. After a few minutes of that & I’m almost ready to scream just like him. I’ve heard an uncle say that babies crying is the closest that we can get to the source of life. I just don’t really buy into the whole “miracle of life” song & dance…   

Written On December 31st, 1969

As I stood in the great expanse, with light everywhere, coming from millions of joyous spheres around the Great Source, I was awe struck.  Here I was, home, after being gone for a few infinitesimal seconds which had been my years on Earth.   It was home.  A home I had known for eons and would know for eternity.Everyone and everything was known and familiar to me.  I had all the answers I had sought in hundreds of hours spent in classrooms.  I had all of the love and acceptance I had ever longed for and sought in relationships fraught with desperation and impossible conflicts.  I had the comfort to salve every hateful hand every place upon me; the violations dealt to my body by the diseased mind of my tormenting uncle.  Even comfort enough to completely forget the memory of the daily, intractable pain.No, this was no place for pain.  This was home.  Completely safe, completely guarded.  Every one of the lights completely loved me and I felt perfect love for each one.  No agendas.  No secrets.  Rather, a passion for the very best for each one of my fellow beings.  Passion is the best word I can come up with for the feeling.  It was the very best, strongest will for the good things to come to each person.  And, there was passion for myself.  Not only was a perfect love coming from each of the bodies of light and the Great Light, but from within my own being.I stood before the Creator without fear.  Oh, yes, there was a great respect and a reverence for the Source of all life, but no fear.  There was no trepidation, no feeling of running to hide and then, suddenly, no feeling of unworthiness.  Even shame was erased.  Instead, I stood as a child greeting his beloved parent, home from the store, or work or even war.  The fulfillment and the power of His embrace was mine.  The power of the longing for the embrace which conveyed the safety and joy I had always hoped existed was instantly conveyed.  Whatever other name one places on the I Am, he came across to me as parent  A parent at once all powerful and all knowing; and only focused on me.  It was the wonderful approval and acceptance I had sought in life.In this work, I hope you will at least opened your mind to the idea of a paradisiacal realm where love, peace, joy and a utopian perfection exists.  As I continue on my work, I find it to be more real each and every day.  My clients’ lives continue to change.  Those I call family and friends continue to change.The idea of a loving, guiding Creator who loves you and wishes only the best for you may seem childlike and naïve.  However, its simplicity speaks to us if we listen.  It is the Truth behind all other truths.  It is the love behind all other love.  It is the power behind all other power.  And, He is the Creator, who loves you.  Just as you are.  Just where you are on your journey.  Yes, the one message I would convey is there is a God.  And, God loves you.   See you at home.

Written On December 31st, 1969

  So…thirty minutes on what makes a good father? Seems easy enough…until I admit where I am with all that. I was born in November of 71 & my dad died in april of 72. Sure, my mum remarried in 81, but that leaves a few important years with a gaping hole where most dads would be. Now that I have kids & have sorted through a bunch of personal stuff, I can see that I don’t have to unlearn some other guy’s hang-ups or issues. At the same time though, I can see myself molding my kids into a certain type of individual already. I have had a few role models through the years & have lost a few along the way. I just lost an uncle who was pretty close with my dad & he was able to let me know about my dad in a pretty solid way…     Still, what makes a good dad? My step-dad showed me a lot even though it took me awhile to see him as a decent guy. He’s been with my mum ever since they got married back in the early 80s, so I can’t really fault him for too much. So, staying around must be pretty important for starters. Also, I don’t think I’ve ever seen my folks argue or fight. They would walk back to their room & talk about whatever was on their mind. I admit that I listened in a few times & they weren’t really into yelling or throwing stuff around. No matter what happened, they never really went that way. That’s been pretty impressive to me as I talk with people about their styles of arguing. I’m not saying that my folks are perfect, I’m just remembering them as not vicious fighters or lour arguers. That filters my view of being a dad.     Also, I think that one of the things that I’d like to be as far as being a father is just there. I know I mentioned it before, but we just had father’s day & my daughter’s 2nd birthday together over the weekend. That was a lot of fun for me. I’m glad that I was able to participate. Being there meant a lot to both of us. Being a dad with my two kids gives me a chance to live through the gaping hole in my life. It is a new place for me to go b/c I don’t really have much experience with parenting from the male angle. At first, I thought that the kids wouldn’t really care for me one way or the other. I didn’t see the importance of fatherhood from their perspective. I guess that I had disconnected that part emotionally and was expecting the same from them. It doesn’t work that way. From the silly games we play to having to step in and say a stern “no,” my role is pretty important in the lives of my kids. I know it might sound trite or simplistic to make a statement like that, but it’s where I am with it. I’m not trying to come off like I’m some expert on the topic I’m just a guy who did some school & now has two kids. I’m in the same relationship, but I’m not really interested in getting married. That’s a whole other set of ideas & philosophies that aren’t all that relevant to the points I’m making. Like I said, just being there means a lot, so I’d like to work through whatever comes up between us b/c there are kids involved. At the same time, I don’t know much about the effects of divorce. That’s a blind spot for me, like eating disorders. I know more about the absentee father than the asshole dad or the junkie/alcoholic dad. While I thought that having any type of dad would be ok, I’ve come to learn that they fall along a spectrum. Great dad’s can have mediocre kids and it’s not much of a reflection on the parenting style or skills…     But what makes a great dad? I’m not sure if I can really answer that question fully. Not having had a father, I have no background to say what did or didn’t work. I can look out the window and postulate or theorize, but that isn’t really helping me answer the question. Maybe running a group of other fathers will give me a chance to glimpse into the lives of other dads to see things through their eyes. Working with kids @ the school gave me a real ground level view of dads. But I don’t think that the composite view cobbled from the kids really serves as a solid foundation due to the fact that many of these kids are coming to therapy b/c their dads aren’t doing the right thing in one way or another. If those kids had great dads, would the need therapeutic intervention? So maybe their dads need some type of remedial parenting lessons. I’m not pro, but the letters behind my name do carry some weight. I know family systems and group dynamics & what makes those work. While I don’t run my house like a group, issues like communication, honesty, and accepting responsibility are important across the board. I have a friend who quotes this nation’s founding fathers on a regular basis. Listening to their ideas gives me a historical framework that shows what concepts were in the air during the origins of this experiment we call America…   

Written On July 02nd, 2009

From Crossing Twice: Answers from the Source Dr. Reece W. Manley, DD, M.Ed., MPMAs I stood in the great expanse, with light everywhere, coming from millions of joyous spheres around the Great Source, I was awe struck.  Here I was, home, after being gone for a few infinitesimal seconds which had been my years on Earth.   It was home.  A home I had known for eons and would know for eternity.Everyone and every thing was known and familiar to me.  I had all the answers I had sought in hundreds of hours spent in classrooms.  I had all of the love and acceptance I had ever longed for and sought in relationships fraught with desperation and impossible conflicts.  I had the comfort to salve every hateful hand every place upon me; the violations dealt to my body by the diseased mind of my tormenting uncle.  Even comfort enough to completely forget the memory of the daily, intractable pain.No, this was no place for pain.  This was home.  Completely safe, completely guarded.  Every one of the lights were completely loving to me and I felt perfect love for each one.  No agendas.  No secrets.  Rather, a passion for the very best for each one of my fellow beings.  Passion is the best word I can come up with for the feeling.  It was the very best, strongest will for the good things to come to each person.  And, there was passion for myself.  Not only was a perfect love coming from each of the bodies of light and the Great Light, but from within my own being.I stood before the Creator without fear.  Oh, yes, there was a great respect and a reverence for the Source of all life, but no fear.  There was no trepidation, no feeling of running to hide and then, suddenly, no feeling of unworthiness.  Even shame was erased.  Instead, I stood as a child greeting his beloved parent, home from the store, or work or even war.  The fulfillment and the power of His embrace was mine.  The power of the longing for the embrace which conveyed the safety and joy I had always hoped existed was instantly conveyed.  Whatever other name one places on the I Am, he came across to me as parent  A parent at once all powerful and all knowing; and only focused on me.  It was the wonderful approval and acceptance I had sought in life.As I close this work, I hope you have at least opened your mind to the idea of a paradisiacal realm where love, peace, joy and a utopian perfection exists.  As I continue on my work, I find it to be more real each and every day.  My clients’ lives continue to change.  Those I call family and friends continue to change.The idea of a loving, guiding Creator who loves you and wishes only the best for you may seem childlike and naïve.  However, its simplicity speaks to us if we listen.  It is the Truth behind all other truths.  It is the love behind all other love.  It is the power behind all other power.  And, He is the Creator, who loves you.  Just as you are.  Just where you are on your journey.  Yes, the one message I would convey is there is a God.  And, God loves you.   See you at home.  Reece

Written On June 04th, 2009

Thursday ChallengeIt has been a rough week. I have been reminded of one quality of the Source which is connected to all of us.  That quality is that God is challenging.  None of us are supposed to go through life without challenges.  It is through challenge we grow, change, adapt and add more Truths (with a capital T) to our lives. God does not abandon us during challenges.  Rather, He is the supporting strength which gets us throug.  We only need reach out, and he is there! Blessings,Dr. Reece

Written On April 12th, 2009

Awake all the Earth!  For He has risen!Shouts of joy like this probably have been being announced on this day for thousands for years.  Even before the Christ, we as God's children knew there was something special about this day!We are called to renewal!  Just as mother earth sheds her winter and embraces a push of new life, we as beings are called by the same Source to shed off the old and take steps toward a renewal in our lives.Mother Earth sludges through compost, the dearth of winter, the fallen trees, the dreams that did not survive the winter.  In a solemn ritual, She reabsorbs the passed and takes the to Her heart.  As they are added they fuel the energy for the newness of spring life.It should be the same with us.  We should allow those things that have passed in our lives, things that did not work out, hopes that were not fulfilled to be reabsorbed.  Not forgotten, but taken in and changed over to fuel our new hopes, our new dreams and our new plans.Then - push!  Push! It is hard to deliver new dreams, new plans and new hopes!  But, because we are alive, we are called to do so.  We don't have to do it in fear, though.  If you are Christian, then draw experience from the Christ  If you are Jewish, take the strength of the Passover.  Fear not, you are a Child of God and as such it is your right to have a time for a renewal.Finally, it is you duty to renew.  Yes, another duty of simply being a human being is to change.  Change to a better self.  A self based on love and kindness.  A self based on a connection to the Source.  A self based on the new.  We cannot old on to the old.  It is dead and gone and we may honor it, but we no longer live in it.Push!  Make the effort to express the newness of the season.  Fear not, for you are a child of the Creator and He will give you strength.  Turn to Him for the power to renew your life.  To fulfill your duty.  To live the life you have a right to live.  A new life.  A new life based on hope.  A new life based on the spring of the soul!Blessings,Dr. Reece